Life in Los Angeles

Well, it is very surreal still. Almost a week today in LA. I feel transplanted into this whole new place.

I was in NYC on Monday and Tuesday and was surprised to realize that NYC felt like home. NY is where I started working as a Professional actress for the first time. NY is where I learnt that I can teach Hindi. NYC has done much for me and it is where I have spent some important years of my life. So, I feel nostalgic about NYC.

Now, back in LA. I am learning to accept a different life-style. This week we have decided to be tourists and see things in LA. When we get back from India we will search for an apartment and settle.

Thanks for reading. That's all for now.

Big Ambition, Big Happiness

Met a young women yesterday who is about to graduate with her Bachelor's degree. She is going to be an educator. Primarily wants to teach elementary school. Very sharp and smart young woman. I am very impressed by her.

Just now I was flipping through this book called FLOW by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Below is a video of him talking about Creativity, fulfillment and flow at a TED conference.

In the first few pages I read: "Happiness is not something that happens. It is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It does not depend on outside events, but, rather, on how we interpret them. Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person."

My first reaction upon reading this was: come on! That is like being "zen" all the time. Things have to affect you and ....etc etc...But then I was reminded of the young woman I mentioned in the beginning. She has 6 siblings and limited resources but a great disposition towards life. If you met her you would never know that her family only has 2 cars that all 9 of them share as they make all their various appointments in a town where there is no pubic transport. So, I admire her for her spirit.

What also struck me was that she wanted to be an elementary school teacher. That is her ambition (as I know it. it may even be bigger than that). She cannot afford to relocate to another city even if she found a job. Then I thought about myself- I have always wanted to be an Oscar winner. Ever since I saw the Oscars on TV in India. So, my ambition is that. Am I anywhere closer to getting an Oscar? Well, at least I am in America. :) But really...I started thinking...how has my ambition affected the choices I have made. Just like how my interpretation of what is happening might affect how happy I feel about something.

It is all in the mind. My ambition may not get me an Oscar, but my desire affects my work in small and big ways. I am sure of it. It is hard to explain how, but I can tell that it has affected. Similarly, my intention to look at things and events and deduce positive interpretation from them affects my happiness quotient.

So what am I saying.....keep dreaming big, keep believing the positive even in the toughest of situations. Mind is mightier than anything!

Enjoy the video:

Normal life in middle America

So, I am in IL these days. And many feelings and thoughts provoked me start this personal blog. The weather, the quiet, the ease, the comfort, the feeling of being safe, the calmness, and the uneasiness I feel.

The weather here today, these days, is wonderful. Pleasant, sunny. A nice gently breeze blows as I lay in the hammock in the backyard. A backyard that has no real fences. Anyone can walk on to the backyard if they wanted to. But it still feels safe. And it is this feeling of safety that made me think. I am feeling this feeling today. But most people that live in middle America feel this feeling everyday. What must it be like to feel that way- all the time? I grew up in Delhi and have mostly lived in big cities where you are always trying to protect your things, your loved ones and yourself from others.

This feeling of safety also made me think of how utterly shocked, surprised and angry people in middle America must have been when 9-11 happened. Everyone around the world was shocked, but particularly here I think. Where you don't really have to lock your doors. Where you don't have to build a fence around your front and back yard. Where your yard blends into your neighbor's yard. It does feel a little unreal for me. Protected from the harshness of the big city. Here. It feels strange.

In a big city you are always in survival mode. You always have to be alert. But here you can let your guard down. A big city prepares you to be ready for anything at any time. But here the pace is slower. There is no rush to do things. It does feel like utopia. I now understand what people mean when they say the American Dream. The suburbs. Perhaps that is why there are many people in middle America or suburbs who never leave and live outside of where they grew up. It is so comforting to be here. It has a momentum, an inertia that keeps you here.

I won't be here for long, but certainly can feel that if I did stay....I might get sucked into the ease. The big grocery stores where you can find everything and it is 5 times cheaper than NYC. Why can't we make life as easy in big cities?

Larry and I are at a point of transition in our lives. And for the first time I feel that I am not in the driver's seat. I am not used to that. :)

I feel present though. I feel like I am alert to how I am feeling. I am feeling ....silence. The quiet before the storm. What that storm is....who knows.

LA will be interesting. Weather will be nice all the time. I wonder if I will feel guilty for enjoying it because I am so used to NY where you work your ass off even if the weather is nice. You might not even get to enjoy it. So, I am used to the tough-love.

All this to say.....a new chapter has started as we live like gypsies this summer. New stories to tell you all.